umm..

when i say to the hair cutter lady that i want to be able to put my hair in a ponytail, it is not a metephor for my feelings about my mother. i actually do want to be able to put my hair in a ponytail.... looks like i will have to wait another 4 weeks to be able to do that.... gah.

as i ran around backbay looking for an express for men, i thought about how silly this all is. josh is getting me something, so now i have to get him something so he has a box to open. granted, he wouldn't care if he got nothing, but i would. so there i was, looking at all the red t shirts to see if they had a large left (they didn't) and is any of the black and red boxers were left. why do we feel so obligated? i would rather wait until his birthday and get him something he really needs and not something that has a hint of red in it just because i "have" to.

now, i am no athlete. I will never claim to be. but last night at the gym at my kickboxing class, i barely broke a sweat and could do all the moves. i felt SO unchallenged. i miss the big black guys who yell at us and let us take breaks by doing push ups. instead, my new gym has cute instructors with big butts who coddle you and make sure you are not pushing yourself too hard. where are the instructors you love to hate bc of thier perfect bodies and endless energy? where are the cute trainers who invoke crushes that motivate you to work hard to impress? josh's theory is that nyc people are more hard core about thier fitness. maybe so. my usual work out is boring me to tears and the classes do not seem to be challenging enough. maybe matrial arts might be for me after all...?

solved the cooking problem a bit by making two huge batches of soup, a thing of homemade mac and cheese and a quiche that we will eat for lunch and dinner over this week. so far so good. next week: lasagna!