Friday, October 24, 2008

blue states

I received this forward from a friend today, and while it is funny, parts of it bother me.

I think they whole reason there is such a dichotomy in the country is that we are so quick to judge each other. Red vs blue, conservative vs liberal, "hick" vs "snob", etc. I think emails like this is just the kind of thing Obama wants to eliminate.

Although amusing to liberal blue staters, this email is incredibly condescending. Think of all these people who went to Ole Miss or Clemson; there is nothing wrong with those schools if that is the best fit for you. I mean, Arkansas gave us Clinton and Yale gave us George Bush.

As far as religious beliefs go, there is NO reason to look down upon people who don't believe in evolution, etc. Wasn't this country formed so people could have the choice? I am very much pro-evolution, but I respect people who are not. Also, all the people fighting in Iraq joined the army. Although their reasons vary, they are there by choice. There was no draft. Although I do not agree with the war on any level, this email makes it sound like men and women were plucked from their beds by Bush himself and shipped overseas.

Calling them crazy bastards is not a solution.


Dear Red States...

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, a
country of all Blue States.

In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii , Oregon,
Washington , Minnesota , Wisconsin , Michigan , Illinois and all
the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation,
and especially to the people of the new country of Blue America.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma, and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

You get Alabama .

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states
pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Blue America will be pro-choice and anti-war, and
we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you
need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're
apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they
don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets
coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs
turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent
of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple
and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)
90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most
of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and
condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale,
Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care
costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the
tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern
Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,
Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say
that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved
in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people
with higher morals then we lefties. Wow...takes your breath

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt
weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,
Blue States


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry D, I don't find the email condescending. I find it freakin hilarious. And maybe it will make some of those "real" Americans think about how much they owe to the evil, Communist blue states.


5:19 PM  
Blogger SR said...

eh, I'm just thankful that emails like this can circulate and people that write them don't end up in the Gulag.

Um and I DO look down on people who don't believe in evolution - I guess b/c I'm a scientist at heart? I don't know...

11:24 PM  
Blogger SR said...

Also, Bill Clinton may be from Arkansas, but he went to Yale Law School, which is where he met Hillary. (Georgetown and Oxford for college).

7:50 AM  

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