Team MEepa

This is Gabrielle Anwar. She is on one of my favorite shows, Burn Notice. She has also had four children. Four. And she is in her 40s. Four children and in her 40s. Sigh.

Now, I am not saying I want to look like her. OK, I want to look like her a little. But that is not the point. My point is that the expectation for women, especially ones who have just given birth, are very high. Celebrities are back to their pre-pregnancy bodies in an alarmingly short amount of time, and more and more women are putting that burden on themselves. Unless you have a ton of money and time, which most new moms do not, especially when they go back to work, then these expectations are impossible to reach. In order to be a size 4 with awesome arms and a healthy glow, I (and most other new moms) need the following:

1 - No job, as in, I don't need a job that requires me to sit at a desk for 8 hours (or more!) a day. No job means I will have the time to get my beauty sleep and work out at least two hours every day (even if it just means yoga and a run).

2 - A personal trainer. He (yes, HE) and I will get together about 3 days a week.

3 - A stylist. Now, I don't need a daily blow out, but it would be nice to be able to get a haircut before it's all grown out and shaggy. A trim every few weeks would be much better than what I am rocking right now. Add in a massage therapist and spa technician and we are good to go. No more muscle knots, grown out eyebrows and parched skin.

4 - A personal chef. Or even a sous-chef. I don't mind cooking, but the grocery shopping and prep work is unfun. How can I be hot and relaxed if I have to do "chores"?

5 - A housekeeper. Picking up, making the bed, dishes, laundry - all fall under the aforementioned unfun category. He or she won't have to come every day; maybe just every week.

6 - Last, but not least, a nanny! Now, he or she won't need to be there all day and night. Ok, maybe a night nurse those first few months, but after the multiple night feedings are over, I am thinking a nanny from 6am to around 11am. That will let me sleep in, work out, and run a few errands. Then I'll be the best mommy I can be. Me and the kiddo. Walks, playtime, bottles, feedings, I am all over it.

As Josh says, if it were my job to be hot, I would be. If my income depended on my dress size, then working out, sleeping, and eating well would replace standing at the bus stop, sitting in front of a computer all day, and doing some serious multi-tasking at home. Then again, maybe celebrities wish they didn't have all this pressure to look good. Maybe they want to run around with their kids on the weekends, order mozzarella sticks after bedtime on a particularly rough day, and be the first thing the baby sees at those 5:30 wake ups. Maybe juggling the house, a job, and a baby and experiencing everything that entails make those dark circles, aching back, and soft tummy worth it. Well, maybe that trainer wouldn't hurt...