sadness

the pain of loosing a father is something i would not wish on my worst enemy. it's raw and bright and when you aren't thinking about anything, it is all you can think about. my only solace is that it will never happen to my sister again. i worry about how my mom  and josh will handle it when it happens to them and brace myself. but now it has happened to my youngest cousin. 18 years old. my heart is just aching for her.