Wednesday, April 12, 2006

what is up#1

what is UP with guys on the subway who spread their legs out as wide as they can and encroach into your subway space seat? last night, i am riding home, congested as all hell and just trying to keep myself upright until i can get to my couch and i sit down next to the guy who is practically doing a split in his seat, which makes his legs brush up against mine, which makes me queeze my legs together and shift them away from his. as the ride goes on, he gets more and more comfortable and spreads then wider and wider. i get it that you guys have your precious peni and balls and that you cannot POSSIBLY do anything that might make then uncomfortable, but have a little consideration! and then i looked around the car and saw that about 70% of the guys had their legs all spread out and almost ALL the ladies in the car were sitting all prim and proper because they really had no choice. i wanted to relax a little and let my legs fall as they wanted to, but every time i did a LITTLE, we would start battling for space (MY seat space) with our THIGHS and that was making me just a wee bit uncomfortable, and i learned eary on in nyc that if something is bothering you on the subway, get up and move, bc NOTHING is worth getting into it with a stranger that may turn out to be a mean person. 'excuse me, sir" could have ended in"oh, my apologies. i didnt mean to" or a wad of spit in my face. and bc i was so sick, i just didnt have the energy to do anything but stew.

this does not just happen on subways. oh no. planes too, my friends. when my sister and i went to india alone when i was 13, we sat next to this guy who looked like the indian mix of jon lovitz and mr. berkowitz and him and his little pot betty just HAD to take up as much space as possible. he spread those thighs of his out so far that i had to pick my legs up and tuck them into my chair. we had to trade places halfway through the trip bc sitting next to him was so uncomfortable.

now i am not saying that they should cross thier legs or curl up into a little ball or anything. just spread them wide enough that the person next to you doesnt feel like you are taking over. fair is fair. those seats were designed with you in mind, not your need to claim your territory and air out your balls.


Blogger H said...

i totally agree. i'm willing to give the balls a little bit of breathing room, but no more than, say, 8-10 inches of knee space.

and your description of the pot bellied man on the plan makes me nauseous

3:59 PM  
Blogger si gracieuse said...

OMG LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW HAHAHAHAHAHAHA jon lovitz and mr. berkowitz HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and all you say is so true. i was on the subway next to this spread-eagle guy who kept FALLING ASLEEP ON ME. gross!

11:10 AM  

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