Monday, March 20, 2006

ha HA!

7:05 bitches! let's see if we can make 6:45 tommorrow.

body issues are becoming a problem again... may have to do the daily food/exercise blog just to keep me on track. i may add time out of bed as well and see if that motivates me at all....

Friday, March 17, 2006

cattle prod

so lately i have not been able to get out of bed. a lot. to be at work at 8:30, i need to leave the house around 7:50, which means an out of bed time of at least 7:15, which is doable and reasonable and sad that i cannot do it, since my husband is out the door at 6:30 every morning.

but in my morning stupor, i convince myself that getting to work at 9 is ok, if i take a 30 minute lunch. and then getting to work at 9:30 is ok, if i just eat at my desk or stay a little later. a tearful resolution to get up and go to the gym in the morning after trying on a too tight bathing suit is forgotten completely when the alarm goes off. today, i got out of bed at 8:05.

what started after i started drivng myself to school has slowly become a trademark. staying in bed until the last possible second, counting the minutes and doing the mental math (if i stay in bed 7 more minutes, i won't wash my hair, etc) i don't even sleep! waiting for the alarm to go off every 9 minutes 5 times in a row is not doing anything for me! when josh left at 5:30 this morning, he mentioed that this would be the perfect opportunity to go to the gym before work, since i have the car, but no. no gym. but i told myself i will sleep a bit more and wake up at 6;30 and do some chores. i was WIDE AWAKE and had no excuses. none. except my bed was warm. 90 minutes later, i jump out of bed, shocked that it is so late, but not surprised. what did watching the clock go from 8:01 to 8:05 really do for me?


Monday, March 06, 2006

a stupid man

up early to go the gym and do all the shopping for the party. running around, coming home late, and starting all the chopping, baking and food processor-ing. forgetting about lunch until 2pm and making a quick bowl of soup. more cooking, cleaning, mopping, wiping. then people started arriving and i started running around once again, talking, refilling, reheating and restocking the table. one martini. one more. a beer at the hong kong, a straw in a scorpion bowl. went home and threw up. passed out and woke up with a death wish. how did this happen?

i realized it late on sunday. i didn't have THAT much to drink, not enough to make me feel like this... then it dawned on me, one bowl of soup and three pieces of bruscetta and that was it. how could i just forget? i guess the adreniline stayed off hunger all night, but i know i am smarter than that. i NEVER drink without eating, not after i saw an old roommate puke out her stomach lining for four hours straight after vodka and no dinner.

my dad said that everyone makes mistakes, but only a stupid man repeats them. i guess in this case, it was a stupid woman.