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so until recently, we have been living together and cooking together and just being together and it has been fantastic. little things would throw us off, like the fact that i knew every time he took money out of the ATM because we shared a bank account or that i would fill out my life insurance and put him as the benefactor and not my mother. but all in all, i never really felt "married".

then this weekend we went to home depot and bought a grill and manure, and he assembled and grilled and i weeded and planted. we now have paper plates and a backyard and nice grill and a vegetable garden and we are so married. we travel to see each other's parents and pay bills together and take turns cleaning the kitchen and talk about what kind of dog we will get and how we could fit a crib into the study/guest room if it came to that.

and we tease each other that we are both stuck bc we signed something and sent it to city hall and he has to deal with my never doing the dishes and i with his 4 hours of deaf-ness inducing video game playing forever, but you know what - it's true. and that is wonderful and intimidating at the same time.

we all know this guy

http://boston.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/157662092.html

B- jaxola much?

dyeing of boredom...

so i haven't updated but feel like i should...

nothing interesting has happened, work, gym, dinner, tv, sleep. work has been a wee bit crazy, but hopefully thing will calm down soon. i am part of a small team that is updating our reading program, so it is nice to have some creative lisence with the book - thinking up names for pages and brainstorming activities for the kiddies. on the flip side, i just read an article in the times about how people are being fired for blogging about work, so that is all i will say on that subject:)

the boy is doing well - also had a rough week at work. all his idealism came crashing down when the reality of being a cog in a big company hit him hard. i felt bad, but the truth is, the bottom line is what usually matters to the higher ups, which means people who care about the product itself are usually ignored. i went through a bit of that at W and learned to pick my battles...

someone came up to me in H&M and said she was training at vidal sassoon and wanted to highlight my hair, so that is being done tomorrow. i was like - what the hell, i will never pay for this and it could look decent. it is doesn't i will just dye it back, no biggie. it is just hair and it would be fun to be pampered a little at a froo froo salon. maybe i can convince her to give me some layers as well, but as she is training to be a coulourist, i doubt it will happen... i am pretty conservative about hair color, so hopefully the highlights will not be too too light. i had a toni & guy student cut and curl my hair and london and it was a positve experience - hopefully this one willbe as well. think good hair thoughts tomorrow at 2!

finished "in cold blood" last night. he is quite the writer, i need to revisit some of the capote on my bookshelf this weekend...

that's it. boring i know, but you guys just read about it - i have to live it... yawn.

grey

it HAS to stop raining. i am going insane.... gah.

in other news, i am being a good person and helping to clean up a zoo in dorchester all day tomorrow. those who want good deeds from me are out of luck - i filled my quota for the year.:)

yay friday!

a fiend!

i have been a reading FIEND i tell you! four books on one and a half weeks and i am ready for the next one. and i love it. i loved the last two books especially and cannot wait to take up the next, but i think this has more to do than with just my love of books. i have this character "flaw" where the main side effect is being well read. bad thing? not sure...

i have the insatiable need "to know". i need to know what i am doing for the next two weeks, what i am making for dinner what i am wearing for days in advance. i need to know what my birthday present will be, what my christmas present will be, what my diwali present will be. i needed to know what was bought off the registry the minute it was bought and by whom (if they had a email service that notified you everytime someone got something, i would have been ALL over that) and i need to know how the book ends as soon as i get introduced the the characters. "ahab's wife" opens with "ahab was not my first husband, nor my last." which was TORTURE, bc then all i wanted to know was who she married after ahab. i enjoyed the book immensly, but the desire to obtain that last bit of info propelled me to my peace of mind. "orynx and crake" (which kept me up well past my bedtime last night) alternates between a post apololyptic world and the events leading up to what caused the apocolypse. i NEEDED to know what caused it. if i hadn't lost sleep finishing the book, i would have lost sleep predicting the reason. (the book was amazing. i cannot stress how much of an effect it had on me. long after i put it away and turned off the light, i lay awake thinking about the world we live in and where it is going. orwell and huxley all spoke of human nature and what could happen, but they did not have the technology we have now. margaret atwood wrote of atrocities that have footholds in today's medicine and economics. it was amazing.)

i do everything in my power to not read the last ten pages when i start a book. i used to, but have no taken to reading reviews online - maybe they will give me a piece of the puzzle. i often use my english major powers of skimming and speed reading, which allow me to reach my destination with a sigh of relief, but probably take away from the experience of the book. after i found out who she married after ahab, i put it down with a sense of closure and later came back to the last few pages out of duty.

when i read your all's writing (in high school, college papers, addmission essays, etc) i always read the last para first. i need to know where it is going - i need to know if the beginning matches the end. no anticpation for me.

is this one of my endearing qualities - testamant to my thirst for knowledge, or something that will keep me up nights with my bloodshot eyes scanning pages, that will ruin surprise parties and presents? well, a litle OCD never hurt anyone... right?

skyline

every morning, as the red line travels from kendall to charles/mgh, i do my best to catch the view from the train windows. king hancock and queen prudential lording over the rooks and pawns and bishops of the boston skyline. every morning i see this and smile a content and happy smile. the boston skyline holds so many memories: meeting josh at copley for the day before we said goodbye for 10 long summer weeks, the citgo sign, ball games and meeting certain brookliners in high school, the river and the regatta, the hatchshell and indian fashion shows, scanning the skyline to find the building in which i was married, the duck boats, the parks, the snow, the sunshine, it all breathes of high school and college and of coming back. contentment and happiness, bottled and painted on the T window every morning.

two weeks ago, a completely different skyline made me realize that while boston is my light, comforting apple pie, new york city is my chocolate soufflé, indulgent and moist with sugar and cream. as we crossed the GW bridge, i caught glimpses of the skyline and started grinning. new york city. ten boston skylines could fit in its wingspan. the foggy outline emitted a buzz of energy; i could almost taste it. i lived and worked and played there for 30 months. two and half years of thursday night tv, chinese food, tolerating times square to get to the theaters, the subway, the PATH, the reliable view of the empire state building from murray hill, my walk to the chrysler building every morning to catch the bus to work, park slope, the upper west side, the smell of cabs, the smell of pizza, chinatown's claustrophobic crowds, the smell of honey roasted peanuts, the image of the subway and bus lines imprinted in my head, bess' hill in central park, running into people you haven’t seen in ages while waiting for a WALK light. my knees started bouncing.

we started our descent at 135th street and I waited for harlem to melt into the familiar streets. then suddenly, at 91st, i saw the first starbucks, then a banana republic, ATMs sprouted everywhere, flower displays grew on the sides of bodegas. this was the nyc i knew so well. go sushi, bread cafe, my old office, pomodoro, my eyes lit up at restaurants like long lost friends, central park playgrounds, the lincoln center and finally port authority. the subway hadn’t changed a bit; the smell, the seats, the lighting. my ears perked at the “ding, ding!’ which announced the closing of the doors. the grin resurfaced.

saturday meant eyebrows, a murray hill breakfast, shopping on 34th street. how many times had I done this during my 30 month stay? a nap in the afternoon, chinese food for dinner, out with B, culminating in the good night call to a far away josh. my weekend routine revisited. a 3am cab ride and a bleary eyed sunday with left over chinese at 11 am. a revisit to 22 at 24. just enough and not too much.

sunday afternoon’s south station scene slowly brought me back to boston. how many hours had i spent waiting in that terminal? how many mad dashes have i made to the trains after seeing the minute hand at the top of the stairs seal my fate? the departure board came to life as i walked below ground for the millionth time. then all of a sudden – my T, my skyline, my charles river, grass and trees and wide streets and empty sidewalks. the key in the door and josh on the couch and my chocolate buzz long forgotten.

effed up...

last night i had a dream that my va-jay-jay was a guinnea pig. it ran around and talked to me. either i need to stop eating spicy food or someone somewhere is trying to tell me something. i was just a tad bit freaked out when i woke up. the night before i dreamt that i had sex with vince vaughn during the lion king and woke up really confused. i was like, woah- when did this happen, convinced myself it was the summer before senior year when josh was in south carolina, and then decided not to tell him because it is in the past and there is no need to stir the waters. about 20 minutes later, i realized that i actually never cheated on josh with vince for the sole reason that i have never met him. why can't i (a) have normal dreams and (b) realize that they are dreams and not flip out when i wake up? gah.

on a different note, josh surprised me with tickets to the sox game on thursday! i love it when his sweet side catches me off gaurd:)