deal

so i think i may have to bring back the daily posts on food and exercise, since i have been very lax in both those departments. it is more for me then for all you all, but what can i say. it helped before, maybe it will help again. i know some of you were not fans, but whatever. you'll still love me anyway:) maybe starting next week...

totally random thoughts of love go to my waxing lady voilet today. i already loved her so much, such a great personality, so smart (BS in biochemistry which helped her launch her all natural product line whaich she makes at home, no less) and now so generous. so i schedule my 6 weekly wax and then this week rolls around and i realized that our budget is WAY over spent this month, so i quickly downgrade to a bikini wax. no biggie. so i am there, chatting away, chat chat chat and not really feeling any pain (she is THAT good, i swear) and then i feel her moving to the non beachy places and i am like, uhh.. violet, just the bikini this time. and she is like "oh?" bc i have been so good about keeping up with the brazilian in the past. and i was like, yeah, this month, we just cant afford it. and she is all, "nonono.. i will give you brazilan, charge you french" (about $40 less!). ijust thought it was a great gesture. you don't see customer service like that anymore - not even in the little places.

don't worry - i tipped well:)

¡hagan bulla!

so i think i can dance! salsa lessons are going very well, and although i am in second place as teacher's pet, i am really enjoying myself:) last night we learned the mereingue, who is by far the easiest dance in the world. you just march in place and swing your hips and the guy just turns you around or himself around and that is all. easy peasy.

the actual salsa is a wee bit harder and i am still have issues with the turn. josh and i practiced on the porch when we got home last night and it probably scared the neighnors. i honestly think it is my shoes. i need ones that dont have as much friction so the turn in more fluid. right now, i seem to be pedaling along with my left foot which makes me move to the right. not good.

saw my mom last night! she is home safe and sound. i got a black sari as requested in lieu of a little black dress and will probably wear that to the upcoming wedding festivities. some of the stories she told were insane. i can't wait to have some real downtime with her on friday - we are going to tend to the waterlogged veggie garden.

change of address

had a few margaret moments this weekend. i held a lot in in spite of some pain and by sunday night, senior year feelings of self doubt were in full effect. but i talked it out with a few people and that helped. a lot.

i am slowly getting better at letting things go. i am sure senior year would have turned out differently if i had just done that. i probably would have moved out. i probably wouldn't have internalized the insults and nagging and constant harping and ridiculing, but seen it for what it was - insecurity projected onto a weaker person.

having people other than my boyfriend in my corner is helping now, three years later. he bore the brunt of the tears and the anger back then and it took its toll on him and us. he was the only one who told me i was a good person, smart, capable. i was constantly being told how horrible i am, how stupid, how flighty, how emotional, how scatterbrained, how big a pain i must have been as a child, how it was amazing my mother even loved me, how funny my body looked, how pathetic my saddness was. i was so angry at myself for not speaking up, for letting them do that. and no matter how good my grades where, how many friends i had, how many committees i chaired or praise that i earned, i believed them. and in my anger at them and myself, I fulfilled all of thier ideas about me. now, if i am overreacting, i do sense it more than before and can go to those who will tell me so. if i am justified in my pain, they will reassure me.

i am getting better at having confidence in myself. if i never stop second guessing myself, i will forever be stuck at that house, crying in that second floor bedroom, afraid to make food in the kitchen, washing and rewashing dishes to avoid the inevitable eye roll and comment. it was always me against them. everything was relative. now, i am beginning to exist in my own eyes, not as a reflection in anyone else's.

swing kids

i will present the facts as josh presented them to me and then you guys tell me what you think...

1 - the older couple upstairs entertains a lot. a new car is in their driveway almost every night and a differnt couple walks out of thier door almost every sunday morning, suitcase in hand
2 - their recylcing bin is filled to the brim with wine bottles every two weeks. once i took the bigger bin by accident and he came down and asked for it back. apparently "his girlfriend like her wine"
3 - thursday night martinis are in full effect
4 - he owns an all white track suit.

i simply think that they are a nice older couple who are enjoying retirement in the manner that they want and have a lot of visitors bc they have a lot of friends and that tends to happen when it is just the two of you in a three bedroom.

josh suspects something else....

if josh IS right, then i am so glad that the ceiling muffle the noise. i just couldn't deal

gah

my day started off when i caught someone picking their nose and then licking the offending finger on the subway this morning and it only went downhill from there...

all bets are off

i know you are all dying to know what the outcome of my to do list on friday was, so here it is. i did get up and 8 and do chores for a few hours, but then found the couch for a few more. went for a walk, but not swimming, and managed to go grocery shopping and to target, but did not pick up the framed posters from the shop, which means josh will have to do it after work, which is bad, since it was my job (the place closes at 6, which is about the time josh gets home with the car and i will be away next weekend). then everyone came over and we got eaten alive my mosquitos and went to a party and played asshole for like 4 hours. i had a blast, especially since my cards rocked the kasbah and my usual stupidity in the game didn't need to be a factor due the aforementioed awesome cards. that, and i rule. merry and i were the best looking prez and vice ever.

then saturday, we slept in and went for yet another walk around mt auburn cemetary. it is SO pretty. i plan on taking the audio tour when the weather gets a little cooler and the leaves start changing. the landscaping is wonderful - it is designed by the same person who did central park and the commons. then we lazed about and tried a new place that a former teacher and ex-watertownian recommeded. good and cheap, but not fantasic. the sauce was salty - enough said.

sunday was the BEACH! the alarm went off and i snoozed for a little too long, but it was ok in the end. had a great time and got a work out too! the beach was in a bay and it was low tide, so the water was a half a mile from our towel. you had to wade through about a quarter of a mile of calf deep water to get to non-90 degree water and cool off. it was fine, but by the time you got back to the towel, you were dry. a bit of a thigh workout, but josh felt it more than me, since all the swimming has given me tree truck thighs that look fat but are really all muscle and all my old dresses look tight and blah. but at least it is muscle and i really like the swimming, so i will complain but won't stop.

father's day was low key. we tried to call my mom in katmandoo, but her cell phone was not working. i will try her tonight if possible. glad she made it back to the base safe and sound. she should be in delhi by now.

this week is fairly booked, gym and cleaning today (yes, i know i cleaned on friday, our house as a prpensity for sloveninty - yes i made that word up), salsa lessons on tuesday and dinner out on wednesday. thursday gym and friday back to NYC! if the city is still baking, maybe i can convince my lovely fellow tex-ass crew members to hit up jones beach? :)

causal thursday

although today is thursday, i am wearing jeans in the office. why jeans, deepa? it is not friday! it is MY friday, bitches! the wonderfulness that is publishing offers the wonderfulness that is "summer fridays". five fridays off from june to august. tomorrow is my first one. i have big plans. cleaning, fooding, shopping, running, the gym, people are coming over to bbq and then a party at a friend's place. right now this is the plan:

8am- get up when josh leaves for his drs appointment
9am - finish cleaning the house and cleaning out the fridge
10 - go for a run and water garden
11am - shower and go to russos and target
1pm - finish making lunch for me and josh, he goes to dentist
3pm - he gets back, we go to gym, i go swimming
4:30- relax with book until people come over

this is what will probably happen:
8am - josh leaves for his drs appointment, i stay in bed
10am - i get up only bc i need to pee and wander into the living room and turn on the tv
2pm - josh gets back from the dentist - i am still on the couch watching tv with the remnants of three apples and the jarlsburg cheese that i ate for lunch
4pm - i finally shower and go grocery shopping since people will be coming over to eat
6pm - get back from errands, do a half assed job of cleaning before people arrive

any bets on which it will be? is this the day off that i am actualy productive and enjoy the out doors, or will history repeat itself and will i watch four hours of prime time in the day time on TNT?

all will be answered saturday... dun dun DUN....

what is up #2

what is up with people who put thier wet umbrellas and bags on the bus and subways seats? SO rude. yes, it is raining, yes everyone is miserable, yes the commute to work is the last place you want to be in this 50 degree day in june, but that doesn't mean you should make it miserable for someone else. just like you, they have been waiting in the rain, just like you they get on the bus, and just like you, they want a dry seat. there were people standing because not one, not two but THREE wet umbrellas were laying across the seats. putting the umbrella on the floor will not cause syphillis. i promise.

if you have issues with being considerate towards other people, maybe you shouldn't be taking public transporation.